May, 1992. The phone rang in our office. A caseworker with the Department of Human Services had two girls, ages 15and 17, who were in need of placement. Did we have any vacancies for these sisters? Luckily we did have room, and after the usual exchange of information, arranged for the girls to come to Happy Haven.
When “Becky” and “Lynn” arrived at the Home, they were nervous and uncomfortable.
Becky wore a flat, lifeless expression. Her blonde hair was coarsely chopped off around her face. She spoke only when directly addressed, and then in monosyllables. Our housemother made a mental note to have Becky’s hair properly cut and styled as soon as possible.
Lynn, the younger sister, apparently spoke for the two, and this arrangement suited Becky to a T. Every time Becky was asked a question, Lynn rushed to answer for her.
Non-communicative kids were nothing new to our house parents, but after several days, even they were feeling frustrated by not being able to communicate with Becky. Her stone face had a negative effect on the entire cottage. Finally, in desperation, the foster dad took Becky aside and handed her a mirror. When he asked her to look at herself and tell him what she saw, it was as if a dam broke inside her. She burst into tears, crying, “I have a lot of problems.”
Her life was a traumatic tale of physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of various family members. Just before being taken into foster care, Becky’s mother had held her down and cut off her long, blonde hair in retaliation for Becky’s “telling lies” on her brother to the Department of Human Services.
Becky had become the scapegoat for all the family’s problems. When the world hurt her, she hid behind a blank expression. She did not talk. She did not laugh. She did not smile. She simply existed.
On her first night at Happy Haven, Becky was concerned that there was no lock on their bedroom door. Her house parents assured her that no one would enter their bedroom without their permission. What the house parents didn’t know at the time was that Becky and Lynn used to push their dresser against their bedroom door to keep their older brother from molesting them at night.
When it came time to buy swimsuits, Lynn said, “Becky doesn’t swim – she won’t wear a swimsuit.” It turned out that Becky didn’t want any part of her body to be seen, even in female company. She thought everyone would be staring at her. When we eventually convinced her that swimming was fun and good exercise, she decided she could wear a swimsuit with a T-shirt over it.
One Wednesday evening, in the girl’s Bible class at church, the teacher talked about unconditional love. She used the example of parents and their love for their children, even when the children disob ey or disappoint them. Becky raised her hand and asked, tears running down her cheeks, “What if your parents don’t love you? I know mine don’t love me.”
The teacher, caught off guard by Becky’s poignant question, struggled for composure. She assured Becky that Jesus’ love was constant, and that her house parents and teachers and many others cared for her as well.
It has not been ten months since Becky and Lynn came to Happy Haven. The girls still have “a lot of problems.” Years of abuse and neglect do not right themselves in a few months.
But they have made great progress in their social and communication skills. Becky now talks, smiles and interacts with others. She had discovered a talent for art and has been encouraged to develop it. She eats and sleeps well and is not afraid at night.
Lynn has relinquished her “mother” role and doesn’t hover over and speak for Becky. She is singing in the chorus at school and making friends.
Both girls are in a counseling group for teen survivors of sexual abuse. It is a painful, but cathartic, experience for them. They still struggle with anger, depression and a sense of worthlessness, but now they know they are not alone.
What are we doing to help the “Beckys” and “Lynns” of this world? AT Happy Haven, we seek to heal the hurts and fill the empty spaces in their lives. Our house parents are not only Christians, but trained professionals who want to help young people become productive adults through education, emotional support and Christian example.
The Psalmist David said, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up” (Psalm 27:10). The Lord “takes up” the forsaken today through the efforts of his people, the church. Christians have a responsibility to be involved in benevolence. The Bible gives a specific charge to care for the fatherless and widows. Children’s homes and other child and family service agencies need your prayers, your fianacial support and your personal involvement if they are to surv ive into the next century.
The Beckys and Lynns of the world need you.

At the age of ten, most children live carefree and happy lives. They have relatively few worries. This is the way it should be. But what a stark contrast to ten-year-old Nathan, who sat in my office one afternoon after school. His mind wasn’t on playing games or having fun. Instead, he wanted a family.
I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as he pounded the wall in frustration and, with tears streaming down his face, said over and over, “I want a family, I just want a family.” Ten year olds shouldn’t have to be in Nathan’s position, but they are.
Christian child care services seek to heal the hurts of children like Nathan. We seek to be a family for those without one. God consistently rose to the defense of the fatherless. It was his nature. David proclaimed, “A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, (Psalm 68:5-6). As the people of God, we should have that as our nature as well.
God makes a home for the lonely! What a beautiful image of God’s fathering nature. Because God’s compassion extends toward troubled children, we develop a heightened awareness of the light of these children.
Children can be without a family, even when their parents are still living. Dysfunctional families exist all around us. Many children who come through our children’s homes have never seen or experienced a good family model. Their perception of “family” is molded by the realities they have experienced firsthand. Realities such as sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Realities such as drunkenness and drug addiction. Realities such as abandonment and neglect.
Such realities challenge all of us who love children and support Christian child care. We can model Christian families before troubled children. We can incorporate the lonely into a caring family unit. We can expose them to the teachings of Jesus. We can give children hope for the future.
While visiting a church service recently, I met Larry, a man who spent nine years of his youth at a children’s home. He is now active in the church, happily married, and the father of two beautiful children. The cycle of our work begins by taking the Nathans of this world, and through the nurturing environment of a home, producing people like Larry.
Our present generation has been blessed by the benevolent work of Christians who served thirty and forty years ago. They saw the need to care for children and pioneered many Christian child care agencies. We need to carry their vision into the 21st century.
If we join hands in the work, we can help troubled children and their families. The Nathans of this world are counting on us!

Is Christian child care a benevolent work or an evangelistic work? If you ask any person who has worked in child care and is devoted to working with children, they probably would tell you it is both. It certainly is benevolent to help children in need. However, individuals working in child care feel very strongly that it is a mission field.
Where else will some of these young people have the opportunity to learn about God? Who else will teach them that, no matter how bad their situation may be, there is hope in Jesus Christ if they will follow God’s word? Where else will they have the role models they need to provide examples of Christian living and dealing with difficult situations?
Brian Davis, Director of the Chattanooga Inner City Outreach, has written the following story that shows that child care is mission work:
In 1990, the Brainerd elders asked me to serve an apprenticeship in Nashville’s Inner City Ministry with the possibility in mind of developing one here in Chattanooga. That first year Lytle Thomas, the Director of Nashville Inner City Ministry, assigned me to the Night Ministry in order to locate and teach young men in the Inner City who would one day become leaders for Christ. The first to answer Christ’s invitation was a young man who went by the street name of “Nail Head.” He then led two of his closest friends to Christ.
Not long after these new births, “Nail Head” and one of his new brothers in Christ found themselves in rapidly deteriorating home situations. I remember the day they asked me for a way out. I called Greater Chattanooga Christian Services (GCCS) to seek advice. As the situation was critical, Delane Davis, a social worker at GCCS, moved quickly to find a place for these two young men in one of the group homes.
Over a two-year period, caring Christians from Chattanooga encouraged these two young men. We all saw tremendous growth from month to month as they matured in the Lord.
This course of events was no accident. The Lord was sending and preparing advance troops to reach our Inner City for Christ!
In October of 1992, “Nail Head,” better known as Andrew, decided to join us in the Inner City Outreach dormitory. In January, a friend named Peter whom Andrew had taught Jesus, joined us in the dormitory as well.
Through their experience in the Chattanooga city schools, they had become acquainted with many of the families we serve in the inner city. They had a natural bridge of trust and friendship over which to carry the gospel of Christ.
Already, the two have leadership roles in the Inner City Church of Christ, and we all rejoiced last Sunday when several of their school friends stepped onto the bus to join us for worship!
What a powerful example of our Lord’s providence! Through the joint efforts of his children in a city, they reach out to those who remain lost.
Young people with whom we work have lost so much in their short lives, and many times living in a new environment with sincere Christians as their immediate examples and role models provides them an opportunity “to buy back” their time (Ephesians 5:16). Often they “turn their old selves in and receive a new life in exchange.”
If you or your congregation is supporting a child care agency, you can be assured that you are helping these young people “redeem their time.” Some child you are supporting right now may be being prepared as part of an advance troop to influence others for Christ. Benevolence or evangelism?